Gone fishing


There are as many approaches to photography as there are photographers.  Some are top of the chain hunters with all the gear, going up mountains to get that special image.  Some are machine gunners, shooting everything in sight, hoping to at least hit the target once.  Some are scavengers, going out to know where people have already taken great shots, and just hope they can get something too.  Others are fishermen. 

And, of course, I identify as a fisherman.  Now, in a time, long, long ago, before I tried to reboot a semblance of a musical career, I used to go fishing.  I wasn’t a serious fisherman and didn’t have all the kit, but I had a couple of rods and knew what I could get put of them despite being a complete beginner.  I wasn’t really bothered about getting a fish from the river, to out of the river, and onto a dinner plate.  Even though it was an obvious bonus.  It was about being outside.  It was  hearing the sound of the river as it  was, about hearing the birdsong and about sharing something with my son.   It was like a sort of mediation.  You become so aware of every  sensation, and it brought me so much peace.   

I was far from being an expert, and getting up at the crack of dawn to go to a specofic spot just wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t chuck in a grenade to get everything out of the river.  Maybe I was a scavenger, without having the vain hope that they seem to have. I think it was my patience and gratitude for every fish that did it fr me. No instant gratification…

Could this apply to my photography?  Possibly.  Am I that hunter that will climb mountains to get that one shot?  Well it has happened, but only because there was a funicular.  Or because I was in Paris  and knew that I was bound to get something on film.  Or even in Nantes.

I have a  certain amount of gear and a certain number of cameras. I know how each piece of kit works and what I can get out of them. But the most important thing is being out of the house.  It’s  about being to detatch oneself from the scene and becoming an observer who is conscious of what is going on around you.  If you get that prize-winning photo, then great, and if you don’t, then great too.  Just having a pit stop to have cake, and a nice cup of tea makes everything worthwhile.

When I used to suffer from anxiety, that fact of being able to detatch from a scene and become a mere observer did me the world of good.  I was no longer in constant flight or fight mode.  With my 40 years of this photo lark, I have managed to take one some of the basics and still manage to get a not too shabby hit rate.   It’s about doing and not thinking.  Yes, of course you think about your composition and your settings, but just taking everything in is far more important.

Some people have sport.  Some have painting.  Some have a multitude of creative pursuits that allow them to express themselves.  It would appear that mine is exploring the world around me with a camera.   Sometimes you win, and sometimes you don’t.  The mere act of being out there exploring and letting the images present themselves to you can be enough. 

Sorry


Hello Dear Reader from a rather sunny corner of France! My mood is like the weather. Warm and blue skied, and my disposition as sunny as you could wish.

I have had it said to me that my last few posts have been far too inward looking and intopestcive. So if you’re reading this then it means you have been patient with me and I would like to thank you for it. One person even said that “I had flogged it to death!” Again fair criticism and with hindsight this is probably true. Thank you for being honest enough to tell me. Tough love…

I would however like to try and explain myself. To start off with this blog was going to be about photography and showing photographs from when I went out every week with my camera. It was going to show the photography that doesn’t get shown anywhere else.

Like most creations it seems to evolve and change over time. The Covid19, the crazy bat fuelled light beer disease came along and changed all our lives. The writing, as a creative experience, evolved too. Then I wrote my first article with no photos. Wow, what a rebellion against my original goal.

So, when writing, one can have a tendency to write what one knows the most about. Well,for me, that would be me, my past and present and what I hope my future might look like. Stuff came out of my head and onto the screen. I would write with no censorship. It became a therapeutic exercise.

The article I wrote in November was a liberation for me and a new experience. Ok, a bit dark, darker even than he dark side with their cookies. But over the next articles, with some ever so important therapy, it has allowed me to heal and has given me so much peace of mind. I would even say it has helped me vanquish my inner demons, that have been there for far too long.

It’s like I’m so happy that I want to share this happiness with you too. It’s new for me so just let me get over the novelty value of the whole shebang, and then we can go back to boring photos of cats, Nantes, and other places. I might even share some of my photographic processes with you.

When this person told me all this, I was furious, although calm. But in retrispection she wasn’t all wrong. We all have issues, all of us. The past always creeps up on us and can shout “Boo!” at the most inopportune of moments. And let me assure you, this has happened. But, evacuating and exorcising these troubles has been a revelation to me. I have been told, “we don’t do therapy.” And I get that. Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone. I’m lucky. But you don’t have to cry alone, I had help, and this help has changed me, and I like who I am right now. Not perfect, but perfect enough for me.

Thank you for bearing with me up to here. Again I would like to offer my apologies for making anyone uneasy, or even shocking you. It is my story, and I accept each and every detail of it. I possess it and it no longer posesses me. Let’s hope my story can have a happy ending, but get this people, it’s not over yet. And that’s great.