Tag: expat life

Fireworks, and the Party in My Pants

Posted on Posted in Family Life, France, ReportageTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

The calm had descended on the family and the Great Shutter Disaster of 2025 had been long forgotten and etched into the annals of family history. Tonight would be about fireworks, food (surprise, surprise), and the party in my pants.  Not that kind of party — this was France, not Netflix. But I did end up with a surprise performance later that night…

Bal des Pompiers: Fireworks, Firemen, and Fashion Crimes

We were all relatively refreshed after lunch and snoozes.  The plan was to head to Saint Cado to watch the traditional fireworks display, and who doesn’t enjoy looking at lights in the sky? Think Guy Fawkes meets French revolution, except we don’t burn anybody, and we celebrate with explosions, merriment, dancing, and firemen.

Tonight would be the “bal des pompiers” which I must remind you has nothing to do with firemen’s balls… Well, maybe towards the end of the dance, but that is none of my business. You could see a cross section of French society: the young teens trying to outdress each other, parents with children trying to keep an eye on aforementioned children, parents of a similar age to me looking at the young teens trying to think how anybody could let them out dressed like that, other older parents looking for food, and quite a lot of us looking for booze.

Organisation Française: A Joyful Mess

The organisation was very French, un joyeux bordel, and yet there were signs of some very organised organisers taking orders, firemen cooking various dishes, and others serving and selling the booze.

We drove down and Marina et al followed in their car. We saw the high-vis jackets telling people where to go to park. We were told to go to Car Park 3, because of la dame in the front seat of my car. La Dame was none other than my mother-in-law who was already in a good mood, flattered to be referred to with such deep respect.

A French Family Comedy in Real Time

We saw Louka, Jessica’s other boy, in a queue for something, and as the evening wore on there would be sightings of more offspring like in a French family comedy film.  Gisèle noticed a friend and her son, and this was the perfect opportunity to sit down, as my darling wife’s bad back was playing up.  All of a sudden we saw the Marina party, and they joined us.  

The Soundtrack to a Slightly Tipsy Night

The music from the French DJ was blaring out across the square, which is usually such a quiet place.  Not Bob Sinclair or David Guetta, but Bob Sincliair C5, and David Guet-Apens.  French hits from Claude François, whose songs are guaranteed to get French into a frenzy and doing specific dances.  Even after 30 years of living here there are still songs about the Phare d’Alexandrie, and barracudas that still traumatise me.  “They” seemed to be loving it and really getting into the “mood!”  There is a law against the shooting of crappy DJ’s.  A pity, really.

Moules Frites and Other Mistakes

Raymond and Vincent were sent away to get food.  There were so many lines of people to follow but I eventually caught up to the boys.  We were in the line for Moules Frites, which is a pretty good line to be in.  Little did I know…  but more about that later. I bought Moules Frites — fortunately nothing to do with the bathing costume of a similar name that modesty forbids me from mentioning.  But those who know will find it funny.  With the Moules Frites you had a piece of bread and either an apple tart, which had nothing to do with young teenagers dressed inappropriately, or Far Breton, which unlike the one from Alexandrie, had prûnes…  But more about that later.

Brownie Points and Last Frites

I turned up with my trays of Moules Frites, for my wife, her mother, and myself.  I was later told by my mother in law that she wasn’t really hungry and that I really shouldn’t have, as she was eating the last moule and the last frite, and that yes, she would have the apple tart.  Classic lose-lose situation.  

I had won brownie points galore when I got back with some cold beers for my wife and I.  Well, one does aime to please. 

Fireworks and Finding the Car

At just after 11.10pm the fireworks started.  We all oohed and ahhed at the appropriate times, and when it was all over played at find that car.  I’m not usually very good at that game but tonight I was on fire (more about that later), and we eventually made it home.  Bliss.

The Party in My Pants

It was up to bed for me for a good night’s sleep.  But, yes, little did I know, I was to be awoken in the middle of the night with a stomach ache.  The party in my pants was under way.  I let out a botty burp, which wasn’t the best idea of the night, and dashed to the loo.  I sat down and had my own personal fireworks display down below.  Explosions and oohing and ahhing..  I managed to clean myself up and discarded my underwear, which bore the brunt of the opening salvo…  An hour later, I had a repeat performance.  This was fast becoming a night to forget — or at least to flush from memory.  

The Seafood God Has Spoken

The seafood god had sought vengeance, and it was my turn to pay.  The French have a healthy respect for the seafood god, as his attacks are notorious, and the scars are worn as badges of honour.  Lesson learnt.  More respect and an extra pair of undies.  A true rite of passage.  I just wasn’t very fond of him having that right to my passage…

The UK Chronicles – Preface

Posted on Posted in Black and White Photography, Northumberland, The UK Chronicles, Travel photography, United KingdomTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 16 Comments

Off to the UK

Good Evening, Dear Reader. You might not be able to feel the same excitement and trepidation as me, but I can assure you it’s palpable. I’m not talking about the Olympics, or the opening ceremony, which was very, very French. I’m talking about my upcoming annual leave. I will be going home to the UK for 10 days. I will be going home. Home is where the heart is, and as my mate David Frank once reminded me, you can take the boy out of Hull, but not the Hull out of the boy. How right he is. Even after 30 years of living in a foreign country, and despite having become somewhat “continental,” the UK is, and always will be, home.

Heading Home: Embracing Nostalgia and Anticipation

The physical preparations are not underway yet, but the mental ones certainly are. We will be driving up to Calais from the Vendée. It is a drive that over the years has become vaguely familiar, and I have the images in my mind of the various stops along the way, and the signs that I will be looking out for. My wife is a professional driver, and I will be relegated to helping out when she becomes tired and needs a rest.

The Road to the North: Familiar Drives and Service Station Delights

I don’t know about you, but when I’m in my car, I’m in a familiar environment, and it feels a little like having a part of my home with me. The controls for driving are second nature, and I don’t have to think. As I have mentioned, I am a creature of habit, and despite not being alone whilst driving, and the possibility of a mad screaming harpie, I mean wife, sitting next to me, I’m still looking forward to the trip. For the first time in 4 ½ years, my son will be coming with us, so I’ll have some masculine back-up and will feel less dominated by my daughter and wife.

We will have a stopover in Dover, and take the now familiar road up to Northumberland to see my parents. I’m actually looking forward to the service stations in the UK, especially one near Peterborough, that has a kind of Food Court, which includes Marks and Spencer. I’m looking forward to biting down onto a prawn cocktail sandwich, and a Wensleydale and carrot chutney sandwich. I know it’s not the “gastronomie” that the French might talk about, but to me, it’s about the nostalgia of the thing. It’s part of coming home.

Home Away from Home: Comfort in the Driver’s Seat

But, I hear you say, Dear Reader, you haven’t talked about cameras or photography yet? And you would be right. Thank you for allowing my little trip to nostalgia land. So, let’s talk about cameras for this trip. There is, of course, the X100F, that is the travel photographer’s camera par excellence. It’s compact, it works, and gets the job done. It’s what I will probably be using nearly 80% of the time. The 35mm F2.0 lens has me covered for nearly all situations, and if I take the telephoto conversion lens, then I’ll be even more covered.

Capturing Northumberland’s Beauty: Gear and Location Plans

Do I already have plans for where to take photos? Mayyyybe…

I have already a largish selection of photos of the village of Alnmouth, that you should be able to find on this site, either by using the search bar, or looking at the tag list at the bottom of every article. But, believe it or not, Northumberland is not just about Alnmouth. I know. Mind blowing.

I would like to get some shots of Dunstanborough Castle (for which I might even have to take my Canon 6D Mark II and various lenses, but I’m not sure about that yet), Beadnell, Seahouses, the Farne Islands, Holy Island, Craster, Bambourgh Castle. There’ll be beaches, islands, birds, seals, boats, and harbours. I even thought of going down by Amble and maybe stopping off in Walkworth.

That might mean a Canon bag, with lenses and filters, and possibly even a tripod. Decisions, decisions. Do I need more room in the car, and will the family gang up on me if I take more photography kit with me? There is a difference in volume and weight, of course.

Weathering the Storm (Or Not): Temperature Contrasts and Photographic Possibilities

I suppose it all depends on the weather. One tends not to visit the UK for the great weather. Here in my little corner of France, it’s supposed to be getting up to 36°C today. Not in Northumberland, though. I’m expecting 20°C and maybe lows of 14°C. Much more comfortable, and almost human.

Conclusion

So “home is where the heart is” is still something that resonates with me.  Thirty years a foreigner, and yet as a lot of us immigrants, we’ll never be completely at home in our adopted country, we are condemned to never feel fully at home in our home country.  We will be “continental”.  Our very essence has changed. The nostalgia for a past that has moved on since we left is another of our penances.  Maybe that’s why I do so much black and white photography; a way of trying to capture this bygone time.

Ian James Myers: A Candid Exploration of Life, Humor, and Cultural Observations

Posted on Posted in Portrait, ReportageTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 9 Comments

At 52 years old, Ian James Myers embodies a unique blend of wit, introspection, and cultural curiosity that permeates his writing and captivates his audience. Through candid conversations and insightful reflections, Ian invites readers into his world, offering a glimpse into the complexities of his mind and the richness of his experiences.

From his irreverent musings on birthdays to his humorous critiques of French culture, Ian’s writing is characterized by its authenticity and unfiltered honesty. He doesn’t shy away from discussing personal struggles, societal issues, or the absurdities of life, infusing each piece with a refreshing dose of humor and self-awareness.

Ian’s journey through life has been anything but conventional, and his writing reflects the myriad twists and turns that have shaped his perspective. Born in the United Kingdom and later relocating to France, Ian has navigated the complexities of cultural identity and belonging with humor and grace. His observations on French society, from its perceived arrogance to its cultural quirks, offer a nuanced portrayal of life as an expatriate.

One of the most striking aspects of Ian’s writing is his willingness to confront difficult topics with candor and vulnerability. Whether he’s grappling with mental health struggles, navigating familial dynamics, or pondering life’s existential questions, Ian approaches each subject with a keen sense of introspection and empathy. His writing serves as a mirror for readers to reflect on their own experiences and find solace in shared humanity.

Despite his self-professed “grouchiness” and irreverent humor, Ian’s writing is imbued with a deep sense of gratitude and humility. He expresses genuine appreciation for his readership, acknowledging the role they play in his creative endeavors and the sense of community they foster. From the thousands of visitors to his website to the supportive comments left by readers, Ian’s audience serves as a source of inspiration and validation for his work.

Ian’s writing journey has been a testament to the power of authenticity and self-expression. He doesn’t conform to societal norms or expectations but instead embraces his quirks and imperfections with unabashed honesty. Through his writing, Ian reminds us that it’s okay to be flawed, to question the status quo, and to find humor in life’s absurdities.

As Ian continues to navigate the ups and downs of life, one thing remains constant: his commitment to sharing his unique perspective with the world. Whether he’s chronicling his adventures in photography, reflecting on the passage of time, or simply sharing a humorous anecdote, Ian’s voice resonates with authenticity and warmth.

In a world inundated with noise and superficiality, Ian James Myers stands out as a beacon of sincerity and humor. His writing challenges us to embrace our own quirks, to find joy in the mundane, and to approach life with a healthy dose of skepticism and laughter. As we journey alongside Ian through the ups and downs of life, we are reminded of the power of storytelling to connect us, to inspire us, and to remind us of our shared humanity.

This article was generated by Chat GPT after having been shown various articles on this blog and asking for him, or should I say her, to analyse some of the more juicier ones. I can assure you Dear Reader that they have not become my therapist, but isn’t it interesting to get a non biased idea on who AI thinks I am. I’m not sure about eye-opening, but definitely interesting. Am I unhappy about what they said? I’m not really sure. Those of who who know me personally, or throujgh my writing, tell me what you think. Feel free to be completely honnest in the comments section. That’s what it’s there for!