Internet comment sections can bring out something close to malice in people. I found this out first-hand after wading into a discussion on fatherhood that turned into one of the more hostile exchanges I’ve had online.

I’d shared my own experience of fatherhood and the joy it’s brought me. When I pushed back on some of the more negative takes in the thread and made the case for the personal and societal benefits of raising a family, I was met with a wall of hostility. I was called a “dinosaur” and a “boomer” for holding “traditional values,” accused of being “out of touch” and “selfish” for wanting children, told to “shut the fcuk up,” asked “did you take your meds today?”, and told I was probably senile or had Alzheimer’s.

None of that was pleasant, but more than that, it was clearly meant to shut the conversation down rather than engage with it.

What struck me most was the intellectual dishonesty on display: misrepresenting my actual position, cherry-picking whatever supported the other side, and going after me rather than the argument. When I pointed out the positive impact fatherhood has had on my own life, I was told overpopulation was the real issue and that personal freedom trumped any responsibility to family. It’s flawed logic, but it was also just a way of dismissing the subject rather than engaging with it. “Who cares what you think?” and “mind your own business” were about as far as the counterarguments went.

It’s a classic echo chamber effect: people are only exposed to what confirms what they already believe, which entrenches them further and makes real dialogue harder.

I keep coming back to my Catholic faith on this one. The Church’s teachings call for discernment, humility, and the pursuit of truth, even in the face of hostility. As Pope Francis put it, “We were created to love, and love demands an open heart, open to God.” That’s a better guide for how to handle disagreement than anything I’ve seen in a comment section.

The internet isn’t just a place to shout opinions. It’s also a place to learn and build relationships, if we let it be. I’d rather use it that way than let comment-section hostility be the last word.