The Opening of the Film Archives – April 2017 On the Border

Good evening Dear Reader.  Some of you may know that I live in France, despite being originally from the UK, and despite probably having gone native after living here for 30 years.  I have even been accused of being a little “Continental” whatever that may mean..  I live in the west of France.  You could think that I live in Nantes just judging by the quantity of photos taken in that city.

I actually live in a smallish village at the very northern edge of the Vendée and my village borders the “la Loire Inférieure” or to use the more modern term “la Loire Atlantique.”  Our department number is 85 and theirs is 44.  I’m not saying there is any animosity between the two, in the same way that there isn’t any animosity between the inhabitant of Lancashire, and God’s own county of Yorkshire.  Absolutely none at all.

You now know where I am.  Let’s have a closer look at that area through the lens of my Canon AE1.  This series of photos was taken along my route to work.  You can see the milestone on the road where the border between the two departments finds itself.  

The trees along this stretch form a natural tunnel, creating an otherworldly atmosphere as sunlight filters through the canopy. Capturing that interplay of light and shadow was my goal with the Canon AE1. Despite some doubts about its metering capabilities, the camera performed admirably, and I’m thrilled with the results.

Since I took these photos, some of the trees have been cut back, making these images even more precious. They preserve a fleeting beauty—a reminder of how photography can immortalise moments before they change forever.

At the base of the hill runs a quiet stream, tame in spring but often overflowing in winter. Its stillness offers another perspective, reflecting the surrounding trees and clusters of mistletoe hanging high in their branches. These reflections, captured on film, reveal a different kind of magic—a mirror-like calm that contrasts with the lively interplay of light above.

This installment of the Film Archives is a tribute to the quiet beauty of my daily commute. Through these photographs, I hope to share not just a sense of place but a moment in time that speaks to the power of film photography to hold onto the ephemeral.


Browse the full Film Archives →

Opening of the Film Archives, Château de Clisson, February 2017

I had obviously taken a break with the Canon AE1 and spent the whole of December and January in hibernation, as most grumpy bears of my age do. Get Christmas over with, then go back to bed… I like my bed. No, I love my bed!!

Spring was just around the corner, and Kate had managed to awaken the beast and proceeded to tell me what she had planned for the day. It included me, a camera, and the Chateau de Clisson. I had just been “told” by my daughter, and off we headed to Clisson.

Now, the Chateau de Clisson is no small affair by any means. It dominates the centre of the town, sitting atop a hill as an imposing structure. I remember Kate having begged me on numerous occasions to actually go inside, and this time I acquiesced.

It was the perfect opportunity to not only document the inside of this historic site but also to let my playful daughter do what children do best: be cute, or as they say in French, espiègle. At that age, she was still content to pose for the camera, unlike the moody teenager she has become. Yet, sometimes, that same playful nature still manages to shine through.

If you’re curious to learn more about the history of the Chateau de Clisson, I’ve included a link for further reading.

After our outing in Clisson, I retreated to the quiet of my darkroom, where the real magic happens—transforming the captured moments into tangible memories. The familiar routine of developing the film, loading it into the tank, and watching the images slowly emerge never fails to captivate me. Once the negatives are ready and the scans are complete, I file them away in both my digital and analogue archives.

Then, a few years later, I get to share these memories with you. It’s a special kind of nostalgia—the kind that comes with taking time to slow down, reflect, and preserve what matters most. Thank you for joining me on this journey and for allowing me to share these pieces of the past with you.


Browse the full Film Archives →

Opening of the Film Archives – Canon AE1 Street Photography in Nantes

Good afternoon, Dear Reader. I’m writing this article thinking of you and wondering what to show you next in this ongoing series. The clue is in the title: Canon AE1 Street Photography in the streets of Nantes.

I know you have the eyes of a hawk who never miss a trick because your vision is so sharp. You might even have scrolled down to the photos already, and your eagle eyes will have noticed that this isn’t the usual area I visit on these outings. And, of course, you’d be right!

Yes, I still parked in the Feydeau car park but crossed the road to the south, heading along Baco-Lu, past the Tour Lu (sans “t”), towards the St Felix Canal, and then back into town… Some of the places no longer exist or have changed hands, but you would still recognise them even today.

I think that with these photographs, I’m getting closer to what some might call “proper” or “traditional” street photography. The images have a certain gritty quality to them, including the people in the shots. This was something I was actively aiming for. Maybe it’s the grain—something I don’t get with the X100F—that helped bring this about. Or could it be the people, whose presence seems to reveal the stories behind them? Whatever it is, I felt that this was a very good day.

I think I may have shared with you that I’m going to China this Christmas on tour with the orchestra I play for. I’m still undecided about which camera to take and wondering if I should bring a film camera along. With the X100F, I’ve become so accustomed to the 35mm lens, while my film cameras only have 50mm lenses to work with. Reviewing these older images may help me make up my mind. It’s going to be an epic trip, and I want to be sure of the kinds of images I’ll be able to capture.

As much as I’d love the flexibility to hop in the car and retake a shot if needed, this trip to China will be different. I’ll need to trust my choices and embrace the moment as it unfolds—something that feels both exciting and a little daunting. But that’s the beauty of photography, isn’t it? The challenge of capturing fleeting moments, knowing they might never come around again. So, whatever I decide, I know the experience will be unforgettable.

While the anticipation of the China photos may be killing you, I know you’ll be patient, whatever I decide to use. Rest assured, those photos will capture the spirit of the trip. Only two and a half weeks before I start my travels…


Browse the full Film Archives →

The Opening of the Film Archives—Abbaye de la Grainetière, October 2016

“They” say that if you leave your child to the Jesuits for seven years, then that child will belong to the Jesuits for life. I am not a Jesuit, but I was heavily influenced by the Benedictines when I went away to prep school in 1980. Mummy, Daddy, let me reassure you, this isn’t about Gilling—some things are better left in the past. This article will instead focus on a different Benedictine site, one that I visited much later in life: l’Abbaye de la Grainetière, a peaceful monastery here in the Vendée.

The Abbey of Notre-Dame de La Grainetière, on the outskirts of the town of Les Herbiers in Vendée (France), encompasses nearly nine centuries of tumultuous history. For over 50 years, numerous restoration works have been undertaken. These efforts allowed for the re-establishment of a community of monks at the end of 1978, nearly 200 years after the abbey was abandoned by the monks, shortly after the Revolution of 1789. Classified as a historical monument since 1946, many volunteers are working to continue the legacy of La Grainetière.

To those of you unfamiliar with the ins and outs of the Catholic Church, the role of monks is to live in community, and their main duty is to pray for us in the wider community. The monks elect a Father Abbot, who is responsible for running the monastery. In centuries gone by, the Abbot would wield a huge amount of influence, but this power has been reined in over time and is less evident outside the monastic community.

When I visited l’Abbaye de la Grainetière, I couldn’t help but reflect on how different this Benedictine monastery felt from my school days. The quiet prayer, the stillness—it offered a kind of peace that I hadn’t experienced for a long time, and a life that was once very appealing to me.

The monks follow the Rule of Saint Benedict, a foundational guide for monastic life that addresses not only prayer, but also how to live both within and beyond the monastery walls. Though written for monks, many of its teachings have been adopted by the laity seeking a structured, spiritually focused life.

I could almost say I envy them the simplicity of monastic life compared to the complexities of modern society and family life—juggling careers, responsibilities, and the endless distractions of today’s world. While I don’t regret the joys and vibrancy that come with having a family—something perhaps lacking in monastic life—it’s hard not to admire the stillness and purpose that a simpler existence can offer. We all have different vocations in life. Mine was to be a father.

As I packed away my camera and left the grounds of l’Abbaye de la Grainetière, I found myself still pondering the contrast between the quiet, ordered life of the monks and the complexity of my own. It’s not a question of envy or regret, but a reminder that we all find peace in different ways — theirs in prayer and solitude, mine in the laughter of my children and the rush and noise of everyday life. Each vocation, after all, carries its own kind of grace.

Post Scriptum:

The photos were taken with a Canon AE1, and its FD mount 50mm F1.8 lens, using Ilford HP5 + black and white film.

The Opening of the Film Archives—Clisson, September 2016

Welcome back, Dear Reader, to the film archives, still with the Canon AE1 and HP5 Plus from Ilford, but in Clisson this time.  You will remember Clisson from previous articles and will have seen the pictures, so it shouldn’t be a stranger to you.  Who knows, it could even feel like revisiting an old friend.  It certainly is for me. 

But why Clisson I hear you say.  Well, it’s not very far away from where I live.  It’s also one of those market towns that is renowned for the beauty of its architecture with an Italian slant.  It has the massive castle that towers above the river.  It has me taking photographs of it.  

Clisson, like most things, has options.  On a Friday the main option is the huge market, and wandering around the 14th-century Halles, which can keep you out of the sun, the rain, the heat or the cold, depending on the time of year.  I either go down to the river and wander along the river banks in the Garenne and Lemot park, or park at the top of town and stroll around the Halles and surrounding streets.  In the series of photos at the end, you will see some stone steps that join the two options, but I have dodgy knees, and those steps are like leg day at the gym.  You can avoid those steps by just following the road that wraps itself around the church, and going under the tree that just got tired and decided to rest on the house opposite.  

But this time I decided to break out of my habits and visit the Quartier St Jacques with its decommissioned chapel, and garden.  It’s yet another pretty place in a pretty town, and when I was sitting there in the sun, I felt that I didn’t have a care in the world.  Serenity flooded my mind and all was well with the world…

The Opening of the Film Archives—Le Château des Ducs de Bretagne, August 2016

Welcome back to the Film Archive of IJM Photography! This time, we find ourselves in the beautiful city of Nantes, in the heart of the Cité des Ducs, walking round the Château des Ducs de Bretagne.

As we explore the castle, I’m armed with another one of my favorite cameras from the golden days of film photography—the Canon AE1. This was before the surge of interest from the YouTube hipster crowd, who quickly snatched up every classic camera they could find, driving up prices and making these gems harder to come by.

The Canon AE1 is justifiably sought after, and for good reason. It’s paired here with the FD 50mm F1.8 lens, which has a way of capturing light that makes every shot in this set feel alive.

It feels solid in the hand, and focusing with the split prism is a breeze. The camera is “shutter priority,” and it adapts the f-stop to the speed at which you’re shooting. As a street photographer, I don’t need to shoot at 1/1000th of a second for all my shots, so I have a wider range of options than someone taking pictures of sports. It still provides me with the necessary depth of field.

On this particular day, I was motivated and thought I could walk up the steps to the battlements to get some more interesting shots from a raised standpoint. I captured the urban landscape that spans from the 13th to the 21st century, and in one of the shots, you can see the ever-present figure of the Tour de Bretagne. It once represented the modernity of the 20th century and is now closed for asbestos removal. My feet, however, were firmly rooted much earlier in the castle.

Old stone, a camera that’s older still, and an afternoon well spent.

The Opening of the Film Archives – Le Hangar à Bananes July 2016

This set takes us to the Île de Nantes, home to the iconic Hangar à Bananes — back to July 2016, when I shot this with my then-favourite Canon AE1. Once a shipbuilding powerhouse, Nantes had cleverly repurposed its abandoned infrastructure into a bustling hub. The area is now home to the fantastical Machines de l’Île, the historic Chantiers Navals, the towering Grue Jaune, and of course, the Hangar à Bananes itself. Back then, the Hangar was a hive of activity, buzzing with picnics, impromptu barbecues, and lazy afternoons under the summer sun.

My goal was to capture that unmistakable “Summer Vibe.” As always, I started with the architecture, drawn to its striking modern lines, a refreshing departure from the stark brutalism of the 1970s. The clever use of texture and the innovative design of the apartment buildings particularly caught my eye.

That summer, the Voyage à Nantes festival had a brilliant idea: communal barbecues for everyone. Genius, right? You simply brought your food, and they provided the grills, charcoal, tables, and chairs. It might not be Texas, but the French know their way around a barbecue, and being the food lovers they are, they go beyond the usual sausages and burgers.

Then there was the dancer. He was just filming himself with a GoPro, but the way the sunlight caught his movements and the glistening sweat on his skin was mesmerising. It was a fleeting moment, the first and only time I’ve ever photographed a dancer, but it left a lasting impression. There’s something undeniably captivating about the human body in motion.

My wanderings continued to the edge of the island, where the mighty Grue Jaune – now a “monument historique” and a symbol of Nantes – stands tall. Walking past and through this enormous yellow crane is still something.

Along the riverfront, the Anneaux de Buren, a series of massive rings, stretched out in a mesmerizing pattern. At night, they transform into a dazzling display of vibrant reds, blues, and greens, which gives you plenty to play with for leading lines, geometric shapes, and unique framings of the cityscape.

And of course, no photo series of mine would be complete without the obligatory bike shot. It’s a bit of a tradition for me.

Even now, in 2024, the Hangar à Bananes still exudes that same “Summer Vibe.” It remains a popular spot for after-work drinks with friends and colleagues, with its restaurants, bars, the HAB Gallery, and the infamous “Warehouse.” While the area can get a bit dicey later at night, it’s perfectly safe and enjoyable for a daytime visit or an early evening soirée.

The Opening of the Film Archives – Clisson May 2016

Introduction

Welcome back to the film archives.  Today I’m going to share some photos of the first reel from my “new” Canon AE1.  Well, not new, but certainly new to me.  The Canon AE1s were produced between 1976 and 1984.  It is one of those iconic cameras and at the time I must have paid about 50€.  When I say iconic, I really mean iconic.  It is a shutter speed priority camera using Canon’s FD lenses. I used it an awful lot that summer.  I liked it so much that I even bought a second one that I ended up giving to a photographer friend. 

Colour

To some people of my generation they represent their first cameras, and were so popular.  Talking of popular, the photographs from this part of the archive are from the very popular and photogenic town, Clisson.  Also you will have noticed that the photos are in colour.  Which only goes to show that not all film photography is black and white photography.

Clisson, as you can see in the photos, is one of those beautiful French villages that oozes Gallic charm.  It also exudes a certain Italian charm, and is known for its Italian style architecture.  

Canon AE1

I have both a Canon AE1 and AEI Program. The AE1 is the big brother of the AE1 Program, and doesn’t have a program mode, but as you can see from the photos it still works a treat.

FeatureCanon AE-1Canon AE-1 ProgramDifferences
Release Year19761981AE-1 Program released 5 years after AE-1
Exposure ModesShutter Priority AEShutter Priority AE, Program AEProgram AE added to AE-1 Program
MeteringCenter-weighted AverageCenter-weighted AverageNo difference
Shutter Speeds2s – 1/1000s2s – 1/1000sNo difference
Viewfinder DisplayLEDsLEDsNo difference
Film Speed SettingManualManualNo difference
Self-timerYesYesNo difference
Depth of Field PreviewYesYesNo difference
Motor Drive CompatibilityYesYesNo difference
Other NotesFirst Canon SLR with microprocessor; revolutionary for its timeSimplified controls for easier use; appealed to wider audienceAE-1 Program aimed at beginners and enthusiasts
As you can see there’s not a huge differece between the two. The major difference being the Program option, and the other allowing for easier changing of the ASA film sensitivity setting.

On the day in question I must have parked just next to the river and concentrated on this picturesque  area.  You can see the castle, the bridge, and the river, all making for a peaceful spring moment.

I think the film was Fuji Superia, and I just wanted to use colour.  Thetones are slightly muted and warm, and the flowers, trees and plants were just screaming out to be photographed.  I remember the excitement of loading the film into this “new” camera, and the novelty of simply using an iconic camera.

Here is what fuji tells us about the film:

FUJICOLOR SUPERIA X-TRA400

An all-round general purpose, high-performance, high speed color negative film delivering truly fine-grain. Superb for snapshots or action, in low light with flash, outdoors or indoors. Ideal for general use with compact zoom lens cameras.

  • Excellent skin tones
    For beautiful, clear people-shots.
  • Fine grain
    Great results even when enlarged.
  • High-speed
    Superb results, whatever the shooting conditions.
  • Sensitivity and Film Sizes
    ISO : 400
    Film Sizes : 135 : 36 exp.

 When using digital, it’s so difficult to get that particular film look, and using film and an older camera just changes your whole outlook.  The fact of not having your image straight away leaves you with that anticipation that we all used to feel when we sent off our films to the lab.

Give film a try.  There are still cheap film cameras out there, and your photography experience will be totally different.  I certainly appreciate it.

Canon AE-1 Program – A Classic Film Camera for Timeless Photography

I picked up a Canon AE-1 Program a while back, mostly out of curiosity. It came out in 1981, it’s a 35mm SLR, and it’s probably the most common “serious” film camera you’ll find in a charity shop or on a French brocante table for silly money. Mine’s been through a lot of rolls since, and I still reach for it more than I expected to.

The thing that sold me was how it handles exposure. In Program mode it sets shutter speed and aperture itself, so if I just want to point it at something and not think, I can. That’s handy on days when I’ve got my hands full and don’t want to fuss with settings. But it’s not just an automatic box: switch it over and you get full manual control, plus shutter priority and a bulb mode for long exposures. I’ve used the bulb mode for a couple of night shots and it did exactly what I needed, nothing more complicated than holding the shutter open and counting.

Build-wise, it’s a metal body, and it feels like it. Solid, a bit heavy, no creak in the hinges. There’s something about handling an old metal camera after a run of plastic ones that just feels right, even if that’s pure nostalgia talking. The viewfinder is bright and clear with a split-image prism in the middle, so focusing manually is quick once you know what you’re looking for. There’s a hot shoe if you want to bolt on a flash, and a self-timer, which I mostly use for the odd self-portrait when there’s nobody around to hand the camera to.

For the record, here’s what you’re working with:

  • 35mm SLR film camera
  • Program, shutter priority, and manual modes
  • Metal body
  • Split-image prism viewfinder
  • Hot shoe for flash
  • Self-timer
  • ISO 12 to 1600
  • Shutter speeds from 1/1000 down to 30 seconds
  • Aperture range f/1.2 to f/16, depending on the lens

Only real gripe: because it’s so well known and well liked, prices have crept up over the years. It’s not the bargain it once was. That’s the price of being a favourite, I suppose.

Would I recommend it? Yes, easily, whether you’re starting out with film or you’ve been shooting for years and want something you can trust without thinking too hard about it. I’ve had mine for a good while now and it hasn’t let me down once. The way it moves between automatic and manual without any fuss means I can shoot however the moment demands, and that’s really all I want from a camera.

Here’s a straight scan next to a version with a few basic tweaks in Lightroom, nothing heavy. Curious what you make of the difference.

The idea here is to give you a raw image from the film scans and show you what you can get with a minimum of fuss in Lightroom with some very basic edits. What do you think?

And below is a small selection from the last roll I developed, shot in 2022 on the streets of Nantes. More to come, I’m sure, now that I’m back into film properly.

Bastille Day 2023

It’s of course Bastille Day here in France so you have to imagine the pace of life in a 2CV, in first gear, driving along a farm track, at not a rapid rate of knots. One could even go as far as too say, slitgly more sedate than usual, pumped up on black French coffee.

This morning was very sedate. My alarm went off as if it were normal working Friday, and the pleasure I had turning the multiple alarms of and not going to work was almost obscene.

My shower wasn’t hurried and as I did my skin care routine (thank you Horace) I felt glowing, nearly as much as the sun trying to come through the shutters.

My cup of tea this morning was a pint of Darjeeling tea. I must have still had the glow-up as I actually filled the dishwasher before being yelled at to do by that woman who said yes 25 years ago so now has to put up with me full-time. I even made us all lunch.

My wife has an aversion to prawns so guess what I prepared for lunch. But I cooked them in olive oil and deglazed with lemon juice. So off to a good start. Sauce – half mayo, half Greek yoghurt, lemon juice, sweet paprika, and with the prawns, some chopped up four hard boiled eggs, one cucumber, and one red onion. All that served up on French “pain” as opposed to baguette, with baby spinach.

It was delicious and i now have to wash my t-shirt which has sauce on it. I also did all my dishes so I dont want to hear any nagging from a particular lady.

My original plan for the day was and still is do develop some films that have been waiting around and I have no idea what is on them, and some films that I must have started over a year ago but never got around to finishing. The idea is to have a fresh start and get back into doing some analogue photography.

We’re out at a friend’s house for dinner tonight amd admire the fireworks from afar. I think the word I’m looking for is delightful!

It would appear that I can still produce half decent negatives…

Jardin des Plantes, Nantes

This story actually begins in my village in Vendée, with a foray into the next town and its Saturday market. But you could argue that it began earlier in Nantes when I bought my son’s girlfriend an old film camera, a Canon AE1 with a 50mm f1.4 lens, that I nearly kept for myself, but in a pang of culpability, couldn’t. I would have replaced it with a more classic standard 50mm f1.8 lens. Damn you conscience!

Let us start therefore not at the very beginning but the second beginning, which is like the first beginning, but is in fact the second, thus being named the second beginning, but is still a rather good place to start as the Sound of Music told us whilst explaining the notes to sing by using a woodland creature, the sun, me, a long long way to go, sewing, a note after the previous one, an afternoon snack with bread and jam etc.

I might start at the very beginning after all.  My son’s girlfriend is on a journey, much like myself, discovering photography.  As some of you Dear Readers might have noticed, I’m ever so slightly old-school.  Having a digital camera, and shooting like it was a machine gun hoping for the best is not my idea of what photography should be.  I am more sedate, probably because I am more rotund middle-aged gentleman, aka fat bald git, but find that it suits me.  I prefer to take my time.  One of the advantages of film photography is that it forces you to slow down, and concentrate to take a picture, with apparently, but I’m not quite sure, supposedly even, more value.  When I take a photo, I take a photo on purpose.  I do not do it whimsically on the off chance of realising “the” shot.  I also learnt on film, so maybe this is a habit I picked up early on.   

Anyway….  I thought this might be a way to help Elise slow down, and to be more mindful when photographing something or someone.  Mindfulness is all the rage at the moment, but I think it might just be more about taking your time and being conscious of the action you are partaking in.  I refer the reader to the middle-aged rotund gentleman comment earlier.

I made sure she had some film in the camera so it was useable straight away, and explained to how to focus, not just the lens but mentally too.  Explained what all the dials and displays were about and basically let her get on with it.

We are now at the second beginning, which is still an OK kind of place to start.  The day is Saturday, and the previous day we had arranged for them to come over for lunch, and I said that I would go to the market and get some goodies, which means basically, some nice saucission, cheese, nice fruit, some duck sausages to be eaten later on during the week without necessarily needing to duck whilst eating them, but duck sausages, because they were made with duck meat.  Obviously a duck that didn’t….  I came home with my goodies, and was told off for buying too much and how were we going to eat all that….  We gave it a fine go!

Elise then had the idea of doing the typical after French lunch walk, and we were all told that we would be doing it.  However, a friend phoned to invite her to a pyjama party, so there went that idea.  I riposted, saying that it was fine and that we should go out into Nantes to take pictures the next day with the film cameras.  I prepared a couple of cameras for them to use, and some rolls of film.

Even if we didn’t go out I knew I would be at least good for a nice cup of tea.  For Christmas, which was well before the beginning beginning, and even the second beginning, I had brought my daughter a mix to make Madeleines, which French people automatically associate with Proust, in the same way the English automatically associate a cup of tea, with another cup of tea.  The smell as I came down was amazing a filled the house with loveliness and sweetness.  There was also a huge dash of tastiness when I bit into Madeleine number one.  I showed immense self control and put four of my Madeleines into a box with a further half a dozen to share with Killian and Elise.  They too, were very happy with my display of self-control.

The enthusiasm for “going out for a walk” from the previous day had all but disappeared, but we eventually set off for Nantes to visit the Jardin des Plantes, which was where Jules Verne once hang out back in the day.  Tradition, tradition, tradition….

I had my X100F, which I adore, Killian a 1960 Kodak Retinette 1B, and Elise the infamous AE1.  We made a good go at it and ended up cream crackered after a nice long walk.  As the all round good egg that I am I made sure we passed by an open bakery on the way back to the car to get the a treat for the gouter, which usually is the four o’ clock snack for small children, that older children or younger adults still seem to enjoy, even a middle aged rotund gentleman….

The Lockdown Diaries Part 2

If you’re still here then it means that you’re still alive and not dead from Covid 19, or the light beer virus for those in the know, which is a good thing after all. Soooo…

Lockdown is officially over but it doesn’t really feel like it. People are still covering their faces with masks, which would have been a motive to arrest people during the Gilets Jaunes demonstrations. Strange how things change so quickly.

I have a tendency towards social anxiety that can be treated with beer, but not the light variety. I tend to withdraw into my room and not come out. For the others it must be like living in a Victorian Mansion where you don’t go onto the East Wing despite the ominous noises that come out from there. Or me being a legend like the depressive yeti, where it was once seen near the fridge but then vanished. I think I mentioned that my son’s girlfriend was living with us during lockdown, and then one day there was a knock on my door, and she told me she was going home to her mother’s. That came a bit out of the blue, and I went into anxiety overdrive, like why is she leaving, what had my son done, what had any of us done, I’m sure I always flushed the toilet, didn’t I buy her her favourite jam for breakfast etc. Apparently it had been planned all along. She was just there for the duration…

It’s strange how you can get used to a situation and then all of a sudden everything changes and you don’t know what world you are living in anymore. It’s like entering the Twilight Zone, nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah….

Things are open here like shops, Mac Donald’s, schools and the like, but it’s not the same. The omnipresent fear of the dreaded virus is strong. No touching people, no being close to people, changes at work…. I hate it. Sometimes I’d rather be dead. Human kindness seems to have packed up ship and buggered off. Human warmth doesn’t exist. There is just this fear. People being short tempered and distant, and complaining about everything. Not just suspicious minds, but suspicious everything. The authorities say one thing one day, and then it changes. When we need strong leadership we realise that they are as shit scared as the rest of us and don’t know much more than we do. And yet life goes on, but I hate this life.

So what can I do about it? Not a lot. When I get to work I have to go through a checkpoint managed by my workshop bosses. They take my temperature, and put a small amount of gel into my hands. Nobody shakes hands anymore and you just go to your work station. The coffee machine has been shut off, and I really feel isolated in my stores. People used to come in and have a chat, but that’s gone. And I’m the lucky one. I have Alexa with me who plays me BBC Radio 2. The presenters do a great job, and it makes me feel less alone, but it’s not the same.

I know I shouldn’t complain and just keep calm and carry on, take it on the chin, and stiff upper lip and all that, but this situation is without precedent in my lifetime, and is slowly wearing me down. Thank God I still have my photography. It really is my only therapy and gets me out of the house and doing something constructive.

Talking about photography, let’s please, move onto something les anxiety inducing. The following photos are of the pond and prairie that I talked about in my last article. There is a mixture of digital and film photos. I have been exploring the notion of pushing film. This not involve putting a film canister in the table and nudging it forward gently, but not exposing it at box speed.

Let me explain. I buy Ilford HP5 Plus black and white negative film. Normally it is to be exposed at 400 ASA. However, by under exposing and extending the developing time you can get a little more contrast on the negative. Other consequences are that with less light, I can still have smaller apertures and get more in focus. I will get more grain but that’s fine. It adds to the analogue photo I think. You’ll see what I mean when you see the photos. There will be three galleries, one showing digital images, one showing the images from the film exposed at 800 ASA, and the last gallery showing images exposed at 1600 ASA. How does that sound?

This first gallery was taken with the Canon 6D Mark II and the 16-35 mm F4 lens.

This second gallery was taken on the Pentax ME Super with a 50mm F1.7 lens with Ilford HP5 but pushed to 800 ASA

This last gallery was taken on the Canon AE1 Program with a 50mm F1.8 lens on Ilford HP5 but pushed to 1600 ASA